Extending Grace

I was talking to Jason Urban last week, and we were commiserating about the difficulty of May.  It is a month of testing, a month of stress, and a month of transitions for both students and staff.  Jason’s comment was this: “You think you might be ready, but I’m not sure you can ever fully prepare for May.”

Those are profound words of wisdom from the other side of Interstate 69.

You are likely feeling some of this stress as well.  You may feel stretched to the limit.  Some of your students are falling apart or checking out early.  You are thinking about how to end the year well, about summer schedules, about the stack of papers to grade, and about plans for next year.

I don’t have great answers to this vexing month, but I will offer two statements I repeat to myself to help get me through stressful times.  Stress is sometimes brought on by events, and stress is sometimes brought on by people.  I have a saying for each scenario.

They may or may not help, but it’s worth a try.  See what your day is like if you use these as a short mantra when times are tough and you are feeling overwhelmed by tasks and/or people.

I find myself repeating them often in May. 

Number One

We can do a lot, but we can’t do everything.  This statement is a good reminder and helps me put a bit of perspective back into my life.  Sometimes my goal is simply to make it through the day—or through the next hour or even through the next minute.  It is a way of extending myself a little grace.  I know I can’t solve every problem or make everyone happy, and that is okay.  I’ll keep plugging away in my own little corner of the word and do the best I can.

Number Two

This one comes from Anne McCaffery, the Irish writer, best known for the Dragonriders of Pern series.  A phrase she penned has stuck with me for years and helps me keep perspective when I am dealing with people I find difficult.  (Yes, I know you’re surprised to know that I sometimes have to deal with unpleasant situations.)

It is another profound statement, technically from our side of Interstate 69, but a few miles and an ocean to the east.

It is easy to jump to conclusions about motivations of others, especially when we have significant differences in perspective, philosophy, and/or world view.  McCaffery’s statement is a great reminder to me to listen carefully and respond thoughtfully when I’m in these situations.  Honestly, I don’t always succeed in following her advice, but at least I’m aware I should try.  And even that makes a difference.

So keep fighting the good fight, HSE—even through the difficult month of May.  Remember that all of us, students, teachers, and administrators are experiencing both the joy and the stress of this month.

Use these phrases if you get a chance, and see if you can extend grace to yourself and extend it to others. 

May your week be a good one.   (The bad pun doesn’t make it any less sincere.)

Phil

Bonus phase from Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live:

It’s hard to believe he went on to become the junior senator from Minnesota!